I was talking to one of my friend’s and she told me that she felt like she needed to sleep with a boy because he had taken her on a few dates and it was expected, but she wasn’t sure that she wanted to sleep with this boy.
It made me feel sad that she was fighting with this decision, I told her there was a power in saying no, in knowing what she wanted and more importantly, what she didn’t want.
I think it is very important to know the power of no and be secure that saying no is a valid answer, you shouldn’t be made to feel like you need to do something when you don’t want to. It isn’t about saying no to the other person but also no to yourself, you need to tell yourself that you deserve more and you don’t have to settle.
Love and sex are two very separate things, combined they can create something beautiful but they can be separated. and that can be great too. I think it is important not to get the two confused, just because you sleep with someone doesn’t mean they are committed to you or love you – or you feel that way about them. Even if you are in a relationship and love that person you still don’t NEED to do anything with them, don’t pressure yourself into something that you aren’t ready for and explain this to your partner, they might be far more understanding than you think.
Protect yourself, respect yourself, love yourself, be confident in your convictions and understand your worth. If you want to safely and consensually sleep with someone, go for it! If not, don’t and don’t feel bad for making that choice, it’s your life, body and ultimately your decision