Ah, body positivity – the hot topic of recent years! From Tess Holiday, Ashley Graham, Iskra Lawrence & Rihanna body positivity has been hitting the headlines for the last couple of months, and while a lot of the press are praising women of all sizes for embracing their bodies there is still a lot of issues around body positivity.
As I’ve spoken about openly on this blog at the age of 19 I developed (or first noticed) I had a number of mental health issues which hit my like a tonne of bricks, but what I haven’t really discussed is my relationship with body dysmorphia and eating disorders – my main issues surrounded restricting calories and working out obsessively which at the time I thought was great because I was losing weight! However it was really unhealthy and clearly unsustainable. My weight has yoyo’d over the years but I’m finally starting to develop a healthy relationship my body and food – however, I do have low moments from time to time.
Naturally, I’m a pear shape which people seemed to disagree with sometimes but my hips are bigger than my waist and boobs – making me a pear! It took me a long time to come to terms with that because for so long I considered myself an hourglass shape, like the old school glamour girls with a tiny waist and perfect curves. I’ve internally fought with myself about what I want my body to look like, there are times when I wish I had bigger boobs to complete my curves like the Kardashian clan or Beyoncé, but there are also times when I so desperately want to be slender – like the Gigi Hadids and Kendall Jenners of the world – I wanted the VS look because I personally thought that looked the most appealing to me mainly because I have small boobs. (P.S This is not me saying other body types aren’t appealing or beautiful because they bloody well are! This is just talking about me and my body.)
I work out a lot and sometimes I feel like I’ve been on a diet since I was 15 – I think I’m slowly coming to terms with what my body is/isn’t and I know I should appreciate it more. I struggle to remind myself how amazing my body is – it has walked me to the Everest Base Camp, ran for miles, it has danced (not very well), swan, jumped and so much more – sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have this body and how incredible it is – even if I do have a stretch mark or two. My body is more than its measurements and I realise how abusive and ungrateful I have been in past – I use to feel that my body had betrayed me when I put on weight or got stretch marks but then I realised I was putting on weight because I was binge eating and comfort eating and there was nothing wrong with my stretch marks, they are just a part of me (even if I do use bio-oil to lighten them).
It’s hard to admit but I’m still not happy with my body and I suppose they will always be a part of me that wishes for something different – but this is my body and it’s perfect the way it is because it’s mine!
What are you body positivity tips and advice? Do you struggle with anything or do you have a mantra?